i was thinking about the writing challenge asking to share thoughts on living a long life. i will be completely open with you, I don’t want to live a long life. When people ask you what kind of books do you like, you never say long ones, or what are your favorite songs, you don’t go, well, 8 minutes or longer… right? potentially long life is offering more opportunities to make more mistakes, no, just kidding, I wanted to write about other opportunities. like you could travel the world and see/do things theoretically, in the perfect world, yes. but let’s be real, my grandma lived a long life and never had those opportunities even when she was younger. wait, she did I have to say she would go to Kislovodsk in Caucuses to get mineral water treatment, she loved the place because it was Lermontov’s favorite and she loved his poetry above all. when she got older, those opportunities disappeared even in theory. she traveled to the street market to buy some fish and to the church to hang out with her folks. I guess what I am trying to say is longer doesn’t usually mean better. I want to live a brighter life, crazier, faster, happier, greener, healthier, kinder, smarter, not harder, livelier, simpler…
fulfilling life is what I want to have more than anything, joyful every day, tasteful in every way, adventurous, productive, meaningful, creative, memorable, enlightened…
what about you, what kind of life would you like to have, what’s your biggest priority? health is probably one of them and hopefully fun as well.
I came across an article called Psychology of Happiness in the magazine, Dr Martin Seligman suggests 5 comprehensive ways to flourish. I thought they were really simple yet realistic as of what we need to be fulfilled.
Photo by Miguel u00c1. Padriu00f1u00e1n on Pexels.com
The Five Domains.
Positive Emotion. He says that we are constantly seeking these elusive butterflies and notes that pleasure doesn’t contribute to overall satisfaction as much as the other factors. I noticed this phenomenon before and was a bit lost as for why it doesn’t profit me as much as it should.
Engagement. Staying busy with life and finding the flow is essential, mostly we find those in art, play and work. If you work as a teacher it makes perfect sense since in class you make art / work on projects with kids and make it look like a game. Well, only when you forget about time you feel truly happy and engaged. Sometimes you also forget say what year it is and how old you are, these are my favorite.
Accomplishment. This is a big factor if you are a competitive type person. Achievement is something solid and measurable, we all need this to be feel good about ourselves. Having a sense of accomplishment can enrich your life independent of positive emotion or engagement.
Relationships. We need to feel connected with other individuals even if we are bonding over something devastating. We want to belong and this is why we seek connectedness which helps us to flourish.
Meaning. Having a sense of meaning can be the most important one of all. You can live a life filled with fun times, engaged in your daily work routine that brings some accomplishments. You can have positive relationships and still be asking yourself: Okay, but what’s the point?
Lets look at four paths of meaning: belonging (clan, nation, club or society) purpose, transcendence (prayer, meditation, out of body experience) and storytelling. Now where do you belong? What story are you telling? What part are you playing?
Whether you are intentional or not you are telling a story through the way you live your life. How do you want your story to be told? What’s the final act? It’s never too late to write a new chapter. (Taken from Darren Morton’s lesson for The Lift Project)
This topic was prompted by Devang last month I believe, so here you are. I wanted to start by asking first:
What makes you happy? Puts you at ease? Motivates you to be your best self?
Some days are happier than others, we all notice that. Looking back I see things in a different light, nostalgia is definitely bitter sweet. It makes you laugh until you cry.
Georgian artist I discovered last summer by chance.
Music makes me happy. Good music I should say, the one that conveys so much emotion you can’t help it. Dance music is something I absolutely love, hands down. Ballet dancing is a magical experience I miss a lot here. Kyiv is famous for its opera and ballet performances, diversity and quality of the shows are incredible. Music is also a cultural experience wherever you go, sampling different music is like opening another chakra or the third eye if you will.
Flowers and plants in general fascinate me, flora is a gift we all received at birth yet some of us luckier than others to be able to enjoy those all year round. I paint them and photograph them simply because they bring life and color into every day of otherwise monotonous routine. Flowers are full of fantasy and philosophy. They are seasonal teaching us a lesson that nothing lasts forever and nothing stays gold.
Tea and food should be number one on my list. Tea is a meditation and food is a never-ending feast. I prefer pure Indian black tea of Gulabi brand. It comes in 1 kg package so it lasts longer than a day or two. I have it with sugar or jam, which is already food. Food is my number one language of love, if I love you I want to feed you. Food is a common religion of otherwise disconnected people, it’s like a glue that keeps us humans together. I love cooking and sharing my recipes with others, for me it’s sharing love. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq4ME1M620I
Having a dialogue with another person makes me endlessly happy. Often times people talk at you or you are talking at them, at the end of the day no one feels heard or listened to. If a real connection happens that it feels very organic and brings great joy to all parties involved. I wish it happed more often, in this case we would have been happier and healthier as a nation. Communication happens on so many levels, it can be verbal or non verbal, face-to-face or remote, it can be written or oral. It’s the art we could all get better at, in fact, we should all try to. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6n3iNh4XLI
Getting things done makes me feel accomplished, if I did a great job I can reward myself. If I finished something, I can give myself a pat on the back. It makes me feel alive. It makes me feel important. Having a mission is absolutely necessary so that we could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Some jobs are better at this than others, instant gratification helps us get so much needed feedback. This is the reason so many people have gaming addiction, the feeling of accomplishment is not to be sneezed at. True or false, one or zero, sink or swim. Motivation comes from your own experience of getting things done, put yourself out there, try it instead of watching and waiting for the perfect moment to get things done.
Happy people make the world go round, what is happiness after all? Is it the same or different for each one of us? Is it vague or crystal clear?
The recipe for happiness or ‘goodness’ is very easy for some and really hard for others. Why is that so? What do all happy people have in common? What makes you / your friend group /family happy? Some call it the flow, some use other names to describe the phenomenon.
According to Projecthelping.org first of all you need a purpose, I agree with that. Second thing mentioned there is supportive community / environment, I somewhat agree with that. Finally, it says you have to have enjoyment, I feel like everyone would support this concept. But then does it become a means or still stays as a goal?
I guess at some point we all get confused if happiness is the end goal or just the means to a good life. And what is good life anyways? The thing that makes it great is balance. Just like when you eat or work out, balance is key. It’s not as abstract as enjoyment but still kind of vague, balance is an individual factor for each one of us to define. What seems like a balanced workout routine for me is not what you consider to be acceptable for you, right?
Respecting your own balance and also other people’s balance in life is somehow not always obvious. We all know about it yet it doesn’t necessarily solve the problem of imbalance. Too much fun, too much isolation, too much work or too much social life. How do you find a balance and how would you define it? Let’s ask Google:
BALANCE
an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady. – “She lost her balance before falling”
a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions. – “Try to keep a balance between work and relaxation”
Synonyms are stability, equilibrium, fairness, justice, parity, equity.
To be content we want all those blessings like stability and justice, we crave equilibrium and justice, especially when things get out of control. Happiness is also about having just enough amount of control over your own life, not too much when it becomes a burden, not too little when you feel powerless to make the smallest change. Contentment should be easily definable even when we don’t know what is actually a game changer.
Just like we can see from the pyramid, the balance can be a bit complicated to achieve, but what if you have never heard of such and still living a happy life, is it possible? In this day and age our misery comes from knowing too much, wanting even more and constantly trying to become as if we aren’t enough. As if we’ll never be enough no matter how hard we try. Maybe knowing less is an answer, not wanting much is just the way to go and being ‘enough’ in any given situation is what the doctor ordered. Now the question is ‘Who is your doctor?’ or ‘Who is your prophet?’
Julie Rosenberg, MD claims that happiness can be sustained by making a series of those conscious choices. Here are a some tips for cultivating contentment in your life:
1. Pause. When you find yourself unhappy with someone or something, pause. Take a deep breath and remind yourself to accept that person as they are and to embrace their good qualities or to look on the bright side of any situation.
2. Stop buying stuff you don’t need. When you feel the urge to buy something, think about whether it’s a “need” or a “want.” If the item is a “want,” think about why you are not content with what you have now. As yourself: Do I need this now? Wait a few days and see if the urge to buy it dissipates.
3. Show others your appreciation. Be present. Offer kind words and actions to help build up your emotional bank account. The more you put out in the world for others, the more you will receive in return.
4. Practice gratitude. Each day, identify at least one person, pet, or thing that enriches your life. Write your thoughts down in a journal. When you find yourself unhappy, take a moment to review your entries and think about all the good things in your life.
5. Learn to enjoy simple things. Meaningful conversations. Walking in nature. Reading a good book. A trip to the beach. These things are all free and can often offer more joy than more expensive endeavors. (happify.com)
Are you happy person? Do you live a good life? What is one thing you could share for us to live a happier life? What makes your day?
Why I quit my job 